Addicted to Being Busy: It Doesn’t Have to be This Way

In this “pandemic 2.0” moment (it doesn’t feel right to say “post-pandemic,” and yet, with the existence of vaccines, it’s certainly a different moment than the one we were in a year ago), I’m noticing an alarming trend. No, I’m not talking about the Delta variant, climate change, or political divides, though of course, those issues and many others facing our world, are concerning, too. What I’m noticing is despite all of the conversations and essays naming this pandemic as an opportunity to reinvent the way we live, a whole lot of people are falling back into their addiction to busy-ness. 

When we don’t believe that we have value — that we are enough — it can be tempting to try to fill that hole with a long to-do list that keeps us hustling from the moment we wake up until the moment we collapse into bed. Rinse, repeat. But when we do that, we get in the way of being the best expressions of ourselves and that has implications not only for our own happiness, but for the well-being of our communities, including our workplaces.

Choose your to-do list wisely

We have the opportunity, every minute of every day, to choose the world we want to create. For some people, the pandemic seems to have made this opportunity crystal clear; people are living with a renewed sense of purpose. Maybe they’re more connected with their children, more engaged professionally, and/or simply more aware of the world around them.

But, understandably for others, the existential crisis that the past 18 months presented has led to a state of overwhelmedness that has yet to ease; they are either frozen in place or falling back into old habits. The human temptation to substitute a long to-do list and hectic pace for clarity or meaning is one of those habits.

My hope with this article is to offer support to those who find themselves in the latter category. 

Noticing opportunities to choose

To be clear, I do not hold myself up as a model of having this stuff all figured out. I want to share an example of how I recently found myself feeling frozen in feeling overwhelmed and how I was able to coach myself to go from feeling like a victim of circumstances to a more empowered position of someone with choices to make.

I’m an avid gardener, and lately, I’ve realized that my beloved backyard garden is looking like a jungle. I can’t find places to plant things. Meanwhile, I’ve been learning about how gardens and green spaces can help cities offset the impact of climate change. So it occurred to me; maybe I can take this garden of mine on the road, in a way that might contribute to the greater good. 

But, then I find myself thinking, “Who are you kidding, Nicole? You don’t have time for anything like that. You’re so busy at work.”

When I catch myself saying things like “there isn’t enough time,” or blaming someone or something (in this case, work) for making something impossible, I know that’s a signal that I’m slipping into what I’ll call a victim mindset. I’m pointing fingers about things happening to me, instead of taking stock. I could use the same energy I’m putting into being annoyed and overwhelmed, to instead make a choice. 

What I’m describing is a subtle, internal shift in mindset, but as soon as I make it, I can feel space opening up inside me. I feel inspired and energized. 

These feelings are accessible to all of us at every moment of every day.

A word to the skeptics

Maybe you’re skeptical. I get it. Maybe it seems like you have no control over the things on your to-do list — you have to do them because your boss said so, or you should do them, to be a good parent. 

“Have to” and “should” are usually signs that you’re abdicating your power to choose.

For example: let’s say there’s a deliverable that your boss asked you to provide feedback on and you are dreading it. One choice is to procrastinate and eventually slump through it, resenting the task the entire time. Another choice is to take a walk to clear your mind, put on your favorite music, and see how much you can get done in 20 minutes. 

When we make intentional choices, we don’t always change our circumstances, but we can create an entirely different experience — for ourselves and for others. 

The ripple effect of making choices

At Phase2, the digital transformation company where I serve as chief of staff, I’ve recently been inspired by a group of employees who took it upon themselves to propose major changes to how our organization approaches meetings. 

No one came to them and presented the opportunity to propose a new way of working. They could have chosen to complain to each other and leave it at that. Instead, they came together, developed a compelling proposal, and asked to share it with the leadership team. We were inspired and now the day-to-day experience of everyone in our organization is about to change for the better. 

This is the power of choice.  

Another example: I was recently at my local FedEx office right before it closed for the day. The line snaked through the store and there was only one staff member working to meet this large group of people’s needs. I watched in awe as she calmly helped each person with a level of care and attention that was awe-inspiring. 

One customer was sending a phone worth $1,000 to a relative in another country. The FedEx staff member said, “Oh, no, this is expensive, let’s wrap it up better,” and she sought out extra bubble wrap. 

Another customer was sending something to their son who had been in an accident. The FedEx staff member listened patiently to the customer’s story and comforted her through tears.

That FedEx staff member, alone at her workplace, was actively and intentionally choosing how to show up in circumstances that a lot of us might consider impossibly stressful. Watching her was an important reminder to me: I want to provide the people around me with the best experience possible, no matter the circumstances — whether my task list has three things on it or twenty. 

If she can do it, so can I.

Choosing hope

Going back to my gardening story: I could sit here and get frustrated that New York City isn’t developing permaculture projects like they are in other cities. I could point fingers at local officials, complain about how our leaders’ priorities aren’t in the right place, and on and on.

Or I could choose to do something about it myself.

I could start with my own garden.

And in the moment of choice, not only do I feel inspired and energized — I feel hopeful. 

That’s the thing: Making choices allows us to get hopeful about the future. And hope — abundant, potent hope — is something we desperately need right now. We as a human race have a lot to do together. And to get it done, we — all of us — need to be making active choices.

As Malala Yousafzei wrote last year about the pandemic, “I believe this crisis has offered our world a chance to change for the better.” 

That change starts with each of us. 

I’ll see you out there.